I once broke a guy’s nose… on purpose. Many, many years ago, a friend of our family called me, crying. Her boyfriend had been hitting her for the past few days, and it was getting worse.

I didn’t think to talk her through this, or call a social worker or a helpline. Instead, I made a brash decision to drive to her place, pick her up, grab all her stuff out of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, and bring her back to her family home. Along the way, I also — stupidly — decided to punch her boyfriend in the face. Very hard. Twice.

He didn’t press charges. Good.

She went back to him. Not so good.

They eventually separated ways (thank God) but I always thought that if I had handled the situation differently, maybe she wouldn’t have had the urge to go back into the abusive relationship. Maybe if I hadn’t responded to his violence and quick temper with violence and a quick temper of my own, she would have understood that she had better options than to return to a man that hit her.

I wondered about that incident many times and wondered why I reacted that way. Was it confidence? NO! In all honesty I was more afraid than anything else. In fact it took me a while to stop looking over my shoulder in fear to see if he was going to get even with me.

According to the Bible, fear was not a part of God’s original creation. It came on the scene only after human beings rebelled against God’s plans and tried to rule his world without him. Thankfully, the Bible declares that God had a solution for the fear problem. He sent his son to die so that by overcoming death itself, he would conquer the object of our greatest fear, and release the power of eternal life into our weary hearts. Once a person comes to faith in Jesus he or she begins to experience a new kind of confidence, based on an uninhibited relationship with God. When people truly commit themselves to Christ, they begin to feel that despite their weaknesses, frailties, flaws and fears they can face life full on. Those who accept Christ are made righteous by him, and they feel a boldness and courage they’ve never experienced before. Those who do not acknowledge God in their lives, flee even when there’s no-one pursuing them. They’re constantly looking over their shoulder, conscious that something is missing in them and that someday they will be found out.

I never had an older brother, but I know if I had, it would have made me very bold when I was facing someone who tried to intimidate me. I would simply have called on my brother, and he would have sorted the other guy out! Now I know that’s what Jesus does for a believer whenever fear comes a calling.

Prayer: ‘Lord, help me to develop a strong confidence in who you are in me. I know I can face life’s problems full on. Thank you that I can let Jesus deal with my fears and the things that cause them.’


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  1. truecorylove says :

    Hello Pastor Anthony,
    How are u? well as for this blog i was very intrested in because this struck me hard ❤ well i think alot of females can relate to it…very very much. It truly is sad to see a woman with low confidence being with an abusive man. I start of by saying (not all men are jerks like that) i have met many girls who were in that situation. Im sorry you had to face that Pastor A.. And for anyone who is put in that situation i know it can be very difficult to keep your anger in control, and step away and do the right thing and talk this person through it.
    I learned the hard way belive it or not you can talk to them take them away for a while, even you yourself try and keep that person away from that situation. But sadly many sooner or later end up going back because of very low self esteme and confidence with the feelings that they cant do any better then a jerk that puts his hands on a female!! I have much anger myself towards men who are in any way shape or form abusive! Because i was in a horrible situation although not exactly this… and i think i have to much anger to ever let a guy put his hands on me. Because of the fact that i was hurt by a guy myself…its a constant battle…and i cant imagine the exact feelings that person would be feeling.
    But there is never a reason for any man to lay his hands on a female!! ever!! She may be there crying her eyes out night after night but at least she lives to do that..its better then going back and end up dead and not have the chance to heal or even see the light of day again. God will heal you if that person has the faith that another day will come! heart break from an abusive relationship is never, ever, ever forgotten! But there is a chance to heal and even become more closer to god! Its a chance to see that there is better out there, that a woman (No disrespect Pastor Anthony at all because your a wonderful beautiful amaizing soul and i mean this from the bottom of my heart!) does not need a man to make her happy. She can have a man yes and when u find that special person for u then its beautiful to share your life definitly, but a man isint needed to prove to a woman shes loved or strong, or any other thing because a woman can be strong and independent on her own a woman can stand on her own too feet alone!!

    It is up to that person alone to stay away from an abusive relationship, just like it would be the same from a person staying away from drugs or addiction. Ive learned theres only so much u can say or do! Its heart breaking to see but u have to leave it up to god and that person in that situation itself!!! And trust that whatever the outcome is its what god felt was best. Its always up to that person nothing or noone can change what they feel except them. Even if you tell them there is better choice out there. Its up to them to take the better choices and walk through all the open doors that are set for them.
    Pastor A. maybe u reacted that way because you cared about that friend truly, and u couldent stand to see a man put his hands on a woman. Especially knowing it was a close family friend. I think its true though when a person commits themselves 100% to god they feel an uncontrolable beautiful feeling of confidence that is just undescribable! I know im not perfect but god is definitly moving me growing deeper inside my heart and soul now more then ever because of the loss of my mom. My strength and faith is being tested yes but i have yet to give in to negative temptations and i think that is proof right there that i have god in my heart and that hes watching over me and that he has some sort of plans for me that im sure will be beautiful my destiny is set as everyone else is as well. And as my faith grows into a more beautiful feeling ive never felt before. I have to continue to have god in my heart if not then i would have been gone a long time ago.


    What i feel strong about right now pastor A. is something my brother told me as a little girl i never forgot, he said "god never gives u anything u cant handle". Putting that together with "everything happens for a reason" made me see its true. He never gives u anything u cant handle if u have the strength to believe in him! Its not something i can explain because the feeling is undescribable u just have to feel it when it happens( god never giving u anything u cant handle is what i mean) if that person has faith in God. Wich in conclusion is why i say again theres nothing you could have done with your friend Pastor A. the final decision would have been up to her…god would have taken care of it. And he did. As you say in this blog. Its what was ment to happen. Just like im still learning to see that right now. Nobodys perfect…part of being human is making mistakes. You did what you had to do. Thank u for sharing this with us (Me) i appriciate it i just had much to say on this subject. ~ Until your next blog~ peace,love, and happiness!

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